Episode 31: The One Where We Think Cartier Will Kick Us Out

Why do certain fears get louder as we get older — even when we know they make no sense?

In this episode of Unfiltered-ish, the one where we talk about irrational fears and dream lives, Natali, Carina, and Nikki unpack the strange anxieties, insecurities, and overthinking spirals that show up in midlife.

What starts as a conversation about parking garages and driving anxiety quickly turns into something deeper: fear of not belonging, fear of judgment, and the quiet ways women question their worth in spaces that feel exclusive or unfamiliar.

They talk about:

• Irrational fears and anxiety in adulthood
• Why some fears get stronger with age
• Fear of heights, driving, and losing control
• Feeling intimidated in luxury stores like Cartier, Chanel, Tiffany, and Louis Vuitton
• Imposter syndrome and self-worth
• Why exclusivity culture can feel uncomfortable
• The pressure to “deserve” beautiful things
• Social media, curated lives, and comparison

The conversation also explores:

• Wanting fewer but more meaningful possessions
• Building a peaceful home and dream life in midlife
• Why trends and aesthetics can disconnect us from what we actually want
• Learning to trust yourself instead of outside expectations

Then the episode takes an unexpectedly emotional turn into manifestation, visualization, and future dreams.

Nicki shares a daily joy practice inspired by visualization and gratitude, imagining future trips, dream homes, meaningful work, successful businesses, supportive relationships, and a slower, more intentional life.

If you’ve ever questioned whether you belong in certain spaces, struggled with overthinking or anxiety, or found yourself reimagining what you truly want in this stage of life, this episode will feel deeply relatable.

Unfiltered-ish is a women’s podcast about midlife, friendship, personal growth, relationships, ambition, and the conversations we don’t always say out loud.

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:00

Hi, I'm Karina. And at the beginning of the year, I was supposed to accomplish one thing, and I am 90% of the way there. And this one thing was from the wishes that we created in December.

SPEAKER_02 0:17

You're gonna you're not gonna just tell people what it is.

SPEAKER_03 0:19

You're just gonna I'm not gonna tell anyone. I don't think I ever said what it was.

SPEAKER_02 0:23

Yeah, you absolutely did.

SPEAKER_03 0:24

I did. Yes. It was mine, it was a weight loss goal goal. So when we're recording this, it's almost April, and I'm two pounds away from the weight loss girl.

SPEAKER_02 0:35

Hi, I'm Nikki. And actually this very week, I accomplished the one thing that the universe wanted me to do. Was it build my business? Was it meet the man of my dreams? Was it no the universe? The one thing the universe wanted me to do was get a laser facial. And did I do it? I did. You're welcome, universe. Now it's your turn. Time to deliver on all the other 12 things.

SPEAKER_00 0:57

Balls in your court.

SPEAKER_01 0:58

Balls in your court, universe.

SPEAKER_00 1:02

Hi, I'm Natalie, and I think that I have accomplished what I was supposed to accomplish, and I am continuing to accomplish it. Could it be better? Sure. But mine was to something about maintaining a healthy body. I think I'm doing okay.

SPEAKER_02 1:20

Yeah, let me tell you, as I was just saying to Karina, uh, Natalie walks around in a swimsuit a lot. It's a healthy body, let me tell you. Looking real, real good. Okay, you told me.

SPEAKER_03 1:38

I love it. Okay, so today we're gonna talk about irrational fears. And the reason this came up is because I was driving somewhere and I suddenly had an extremely irrational fear. And I was like, I wonder how many of these I actually have. And I don't think it makes me stop doing what I'm doing, but it seems like I don't it seems like I was more fearless when I was younger, but there is something that's happening that is making me more fearful as I get older. Hmm. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 2:13

What are you gonna share what this was?

SPEAKER_03 2:14

This is irrational fear. Yeah. Well, this is really irrational. You're gonna laugh when you hear it. So I was driving to my sleep doctor's appointment, and they have one of those parking garages that you know is multi-level. And when you drive into it, you have to drive a little bit down to get into the parking garage. And I felt like in that moment, I was going to hit the concrete on the next level. And I my I like I could feel my heartbeat. I was like panicking. And I was like, this is ridiculous. You know that it's built in a way that it's not gonna hit my car. But I felt like it was gonna hit my car. And I drove very slowly down this little drive thing into the garage. And I was like, you know, this is just fine, Krita. But I was having an actual physical reaction, like I was so scared that I was going to hit this thing. What a nutball.

SPEAKER_02 3:18

Oh, interesting. Have you guys had any of this?

SPEAKER_03 3:21

I no, I'm just really scared of things hitting me. And I realize, uh, unfortunately, my husband's gonna hear this. I realize somewhat that I am a little irrational when he drives because I feel like he is going to hit things. Like everyone next to us, I'm like, they're not a safe driver. And I get very stressed out about it.

SPEAKER_00 3:42

It's because you're out of control, like he's the one in control.

unknown 3:46

Right?

SPEAKER_03 3:46

I don't even like it when I drive, though.

SPEAKER_00 3:48

So, like, I've had the experience before of driving into a garage and being like, oh my gosh, am I like too tall to get in? Am I gonna get and I have to in that moment, I don't have a big physical reaction because I think to myself, oh, there are other cars my size here, there are other cars bigger than mine here, so I know it's gonna work and I just go forward. I have had that experience before, but I wouldn't say I had the physical reaction internally that you did.

SPEAKER_03 4:13

It's the first time I've had the physical reaction and just happened recently, and so I was like, Wait, is this because I'm getting older and I'm getting more concerned? Or is it just I don't know, it was just a really weird thing.

SPEAKER_00 4:29

Are you having other moments of what you would call an irrational fear?

SPEAKER_03 4:33

Just when Josh is driving. Sorry, Josh. Well, that's not true, also when my kids are driving, but you know.

SPEAKER_02 4:42

Well, yeah, I mean that makes sense. You put your kids out into the world and then put them in a one-ton vehicle. That's I could see why that would make you nervous.

SPEAKER_03 4:50

Yeah, I don't think I have a lot of other irrational fears unless I mean I have fears, but I don't think of them as irrational. They're just fears. Do you guys have those? Do you think real quick? No, fears?

SPEAKER_01 5:04

No, absolutely not. I have fears. Do you guys have those? What? Okay, you've been drinking.

SPEAKER_00 5:17

Have you been having cupcakes? I did just have some chocolate. There you go. Explains a lot. If you were to go into that place, that driving garage now, would you have the same reaction, you think?

SPEAKER_03 5:32

I don't think so. I I I think I don't think so. I will tell you the whole time my brain was like, this is fine, this is fine, while my heart was like pumping, you know?

SPEAKER_02 5:46

I will say of something similar in that. So I think we were talking about recurring dreams, or maybe Natalie and I were talking about recurring dreams. I'm just talking about recurring dreams. Um, but I throughout my life I've had recurring dreams where I have to, where I'm driving, and I have to drive up like a completely vertical road. And so like going up like very steep hills in a car makes me very tense. Um I don't remember the the feel of the slipping back or like tipping back over when um the first time I went out to Napa and Sonoma, Melody and I flew into San Francisco and stayed overnight. I think we rented a car so we could drive up. And I was the driver and I turned, I can't remember, it doesn't matter which straight I turned because that's so hilly there. I turned and saw how steep the hill was down and then how steep the hill was up, and I screamed. I mean, not you know, a serious scream, but like because it was very very uh anxiety inducing. Just because I have dreams about it, and there's clearly symbolic dreams. I one cannot drive up a road that is vertical, but because I've had it had it so many times and so often, it actually makes me anxious in real life to drive up a street or drive down a street that is city.

SPEAKER_03 7:05

Nikki, do you have a fear of heights or just the vertical road?

SPEAKER_02 7:09

Yeah, not really a fear of heights. I mean, I wouldn't say that I'm overly over like excessively comfortable when we went up in our hot air balloon ride. Um, there was a point, it was very cool, but at one point there was a point. And it wasn't even the the highest point. I think it was when maybe kind of midway when you can identify the things down below and you can go, oh, we're and they're real things, and you can tell they're real things, and you go, oh, we're really high up. And you kind of calculate that. When we got all the way up, it was looking down looked so much like looking down from a plane that it's you know, it's kind of but I think it was kind of midway that I went, oh, I'm not gonna think about this too much. I don't want to. Um but no, not not usually just driving vertically.

SPEAKER_00 8:01

Natalie, do you have any irrational fears? I don't think they're irrational, I think they're impossible. Like I have a fear whenever I give a speaking engagement on the stage, like I'm going to trip up or down the stairs. Like, or I'm going to like fall off the stage. Um and that is very possible. Irrational. Irrational. Nothing's really coming to mind. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 8:36

I mean you mentioned that I uh thinking on a previous podcast, or maybe just I don't know, that I used to have a fear of farmers' markets. It was just too much pressure. I want to be supportive. I want to, I want to purchase, but I also don't know what vegetables I'm gonna want. I don't know if I purchase vegetables from one farmer and not from another farmer. Am I sending a message? How many and how much do I get? It was just way too much pressure. I did overcome that.

SPEAKER_03 9:01

Um the most amazing fear ever. But when you explain it, it makes sense. Why is we too much pressure?

SPEAKER_02 9:08

It's like going into, you know, you're going into like a boutique shop and there's nobody else in there, and it's just the person working behind the counter, and they're like, huh. And you're like, Oh, I really I didn't come in to buy anything. I really just came in to browse. It's too much harsh.

SPEAKER_00 9:21

Like uncomfortable. I remember uh the first time I went into Trader Joe's, like I used to be afraid to go into Trader Joe's because I didn't understand it. Like, what is it? Sometimes there'd be a line out of it. Like, is it like weird food? Like I didn't understand. And then once I like went in for the first couple of times, I'm like, oh, this is the best place ever. But I remember just being fearful of what I didn't know about it that I never went in. Because I used to get my hair done right next door. Um, and I'm like, I don't know what's going on in that store, but something's weird.

SPEAKER_03 9:49

So why did you why did you finally go in, Natalie?

SPEAKER_00 9:52

I don't know. I just think it was kind of like I I want to go. Like, I don't know, maybe my neighbor said something was good there, and I mean I would get my hair next door, done next door, like consistently, and just kind of felt like, let's just give it a try. I don't know. I think that is one thing. Like, if there's something that's got my curiosity, I'm going to eventually check it out. It might take me a while, but I'm not gonna let it like win me over. Like, why am I afraid of a stupid store? Um, but like what else make maybe makes me feel that way? Uh what you're describing, Nikki, in terms of like going into a shop or something where they might want, oh, I have a fear of going into high-end luxury stores where sometimes they have like the red rope or sometimes there's like a line out front, you know, like Gucci, Cartier, YSL, you know, and I'm like, wait, do am I are they gonna I have a fear that they're not gonna let me in the store? Tiffany's, you know. So, like at Vegas, you know, they have all those high-end shops. Sometimes I just want to go in and look, but I'm afraid they won't let me in.

SPEAKER_02 10:56

Oh, interesting.

SPEAKER_00 10:57

So sometimes I don't go in, like most of actually all the time. I just don't go in. I look at the windows, but I won't go in the shop.

SPEAKER_03 11:04

I think a lot of people feel that way, Natalie. Really? I think so. I like I feel like I think I've felt that way in the past, but I think especially were you both with me when I traded out my Louis Vuitton wallet that I won. Um, I think after that experience, I was like, what this this place is just regular.

SPEAKER_02 11:25

Am I imagining this, or did they give us champagne while we were in there?

SPEAKER_03 11:28

I believe they gave you guys champagne. Yeah, not you, obviously. But um, yeah, they did, didn't they? I think they did. I think because we were actually there buying things.

SPEAKER_00 11:40

So I wouldn't mind going into stores like that. I remember when we, the three of us were in Vegas last time, we went into Tiffany's and looked around at some stuff. And so I could go in with you guys, but for me on my own, which I do have a goal in July to walk into Cartier and look at a specific ring that I've been eyeing, but I'm nervous, like I'm not gonna, when it comes down to it, I won't go in. That is so and to ask, like, can I try this ring on? Because like I don't want to, I'm not ready to buy it yet. I just want to see like how does it look on my finger? And then I'm afraid it'll be like, oh, well, she just can't afford it or something, you know. And it's like, well, no, like I'm just not ready. Like it's a big thing.

SPEAKER_02 12:14

What you could do is you could try it on and then immediately shout, just so you all know I can afford this. I'm choosing not to buy it today.

SPEAKER_03 12:25

There's your solution. Um, I feel like I don't go into a lot of those stores because I really don't want to purchase the things in those stores, right? So, like if you really want to purchase something in those stores, I would say just go into it.

SPEAKER_02 12:42

But she doesn't want to purchase it that day is what you try it on.

SPEAKER_00 12:46

Yeah, but like I can remember a specific situation at the Neiman Marcus here in Scottsdale. They actually have a little Chanel store inside. You can't get a Chanel store everywhere, right? And I was looking for a Chanel bag, and it seemed like it was just like not open to anybody. I mean, there was like a I don't know if there was a rope or I don't know how it worked. So I was like, well, I guess I'm just not gonna buy my bag from here.

SPEAKER_05 13:10

Interesting.

SPEAKER_00 13:12

Mm-hmm.

unknown 13:13

Wow.

SPEAKER_00 13:13

Yeah, I did eventually get a bag, but it wasn't, it was an open store. Like the rope makes me feel like number one, maybe I'm not good enough. But number two, if it was very exclusionary, I'm not sure I even like the way that would feel for regular people. You know, like why, why are you who are you trying to keep out? You're in Neiman Marcus. What what are you doing? What are you message? Are you sending? So I think there's like internally I have some work to do on just worth, but then I think the way I feel about it in general is not good. Kind of like a bouncer at a club saying, like, you're not pretty enough to get in or something. That's what it feels like.

SPEAKER_02 13:55

Again, I've seen you in a swimsuit pretty much every day. You're getting into any club. Um, it's interesting.

SPEAKER_00 14:01

I wonder if like a meditation around cutting a red rope, like doing doing or just like with the guy opening it up and letting me in, you know, because like it's funny, like my brother, he lives for that. He doesn't want to go anywhere where there's not a red rope or a red carpet or something like that. And for me, it's not, it doesn't make me feel comfortable. I want everybody to feel welcome. Like if you come, I want everybody to feel welcome. Does you know, and so that just feels like they're not trying to make people feel welcome. But here I am, I want to buy a very beautiful purse, and you don't want to make me feel welcome right away. It makes me feel like, okay, I don't want to buy it from you.

SPEAKER_02 14:34

Okay, that makes sense. But the other store, like an open store, that you still feel like you can't go into it.

SPEAKER_00 14:41

That that one was a good store. That was actually on a cruise ship and it was called um oh, what's it called? Anyway, they had multiple it's like it's basically secondhand. So like they had multiple different uh purses from different brands. And so that felt very much they want everybody in that you know, but what they gave me a bottle of champagne when I bought my purse. They're like, Can we send you a bottle of champagne to your room? I'm like, absolutely, that would be great.

SPEAKER_02 15:05

But what about like a regular Chanel store or a regular Cartier store?

SPEAKER_00 15:10

I would feel uh I would still feel uncomfortable. I would still feel uncomfortable, but I would have a higher chance of walking in so long as that rope isn't there. Interesting. And sometimes, like at the high-end stores at outlets, there'll be a line to get in. And then that just weirds me out in terms of like, are we all so obsessed with possessions that we're like lining up for this this name on a bag? Like that makes me so I have a lot of weird things around it. I love pretty things, I love high-end things, but just the way that it's gonna come about has to be certain way. Like my YSL bag, I ordered it online. I'm like, I'm not, and I went and picked it up. I went and picked it up at Neiman Marcus. I'm like, I'm not even gonna like try to go to the store and have a clerk like show me around, like just have it there for me. So I just grab it and go.

SPEAKER_02 15:53

Interesting. I feel like this is something to to, if I may, I feel like it could be could be something to work on. But it but at the same time, too, we were talking about how did that line come up? We were talking about you using the line, I deserve it. And Karina, you I think you had you had left already, but you and I both went, ooh, I deserve it. Ooh, but we had a lot less problem with we deserve it. Because like I, as a friend, can be like, Yes, you deserve that, Natalie. Yes, you deserve that, Karina. But coming back to me is like, oh, do I deserve? But the idea of like we deserve it, I can much more easily get behind.

SPEAKER_03 16:37

Yeah, that's interesting. You know, I was actually thinking, Natalie, that there's that it wasn't a hundred percent unhealthy the way you're thinking of it, because the whole point of those ropes is to make people feel special. That's why your brother loves it, right? The point is to make people feel special. What we're exclude others, yeah, is the excluding part, not the making special part, but the excluding part. And the question I always have is like if you wanted to go in there, would they actually say no? I've never seen them say no. Because maybe the red rope is enough to deter people to be like they're either in or out. But it's enough to deter me, you know, and like I I wonder how many people that they don't realize who could afford their products do not go in because they just and I, you know, I'm almost similar to you in that. Um, if I know of a product that I want, I usually already know. Like I've looked online, I looked at it, I decided I probably want it. That's how I got the bag that I got in Hawaii. Like I walked in with a couple of friends, but I like I walked right up to the bag that I was gonna buy. Like I was like, I know this is the bag. So it's like I I know they want to wine and dine you and do all this stuff, but most of the time I'm just like, I don't even need to look around. Like I've I I did this already online, which is so funny because they keep, I don't know if you guys have had this experience, they keep sending you emails and texts with like other products you might like. Yeah. Yes, they have because they have called marketing. Well, I felt like it's like a personal sales associate, like the one who you bought your thing from. They're very smart about that because it's not coming from general, it's just like, hey Karina, remember it's me. So and so yeah. And here are a couple of other things I saw you looking at that I think might go well with your current purse.

SPEAKER_02 18:28

Are you still getting texts from the same guy that bought you the or that not bought you the that gave you the Louis Vuitton?

SPEAKER_03 18:34

Oh no, oh wait, I think I stopped getting texts from the Louis Vuitton guy, but I still get texts from the Mew Mew girls in Hawaii. Wow. Like all the time they send me texts. Wow. Hey, have you seen this new thing that's going on? I'm like, oh, I mean, that's kind of cute, you know? I have to admit, I do love a sick secondhand luxury item. Um, I don't know why I love them so much. I think it's because I feel like I got such a deal. It's usually still in great shape, and also I am terrible to my things I own. And so it seems very stupid to own expensive items because I'm not good to them. Like I just once there I have one, actually. So I change my purses out quite often. And the purse I have right now was not crazy expensive, but I got it in Greece and it's like a leather, big leather bag. It's like kind of crazy and bulky, and I just think it's cool looking and it fits all sorts of things in it. And um I was like, you know, I'm swinging it around, it's hitting the car as I go in. It's not, and I was just like, uh I think it's taught me since I've bought a couple of things that maybe um luxury purses, even though I love them, might not be the way to go for me.

SPEAKER_00 19:51

I'm a little bit opposite. I feel like I don't need a lot. Like for me, I have most of the time I don't wear a purse at all. If I do, it's like I have one that I'm gonna wear pretty much all spring and summer. And then I have one that if I go out, it's gonna be like fall and winter. I don't want a lot, but I think what I really want is really nice things, you know, because it lasts forever and it's just it just makes me feel beautiful to have it have beauty. So like there's a couple of things in my home like I really want to replace, but it's like until I can get the thing, I don't, I'd rather not have the middle of the road. I don't know if that makes sense. Like for the longest time, like our TV was so crap. And I'm like, I don't want just another replacement flat screen TV. I want a specific one. So until we're gonna get that one, I'd rather not have the TV. I would rather not have than get the middle of the road if it's something that I feel very strongly about. That's not to say everything I want is expensive, but it it needs to be beautiful, it needs to make me feel good. So anything that's like not quite fitting it, it's like on the way out, but until I know exactly what the thing is coming in, I just keep it until I can get it out.

SPEAKER_03 20:58

I used to have that mindset, and then I had children and a dog and two kids. I mean two cats, two kids, two cats, three, but between the six of them, they have ruined so much of the nice stuff that I've bought that I have given up. And then I plan on one day having grandbabies, and I figure they're gonna also things. So I think I'm to this point where I'm like, I will get things that feel good enough. Like I feel happy with it. I'm not going to uh just like because I I used to think that's the way I'm going to be, especially when I'm an empty nester. And I have decided I think I'm not that way anymore. I've just kind of been like, these things are just things. They wear out. A dog's gonna bite them, a cat's going to scratch them up. Even this brand new barn that I built, like Thunder has already ruined one of my chairs in here, you know, not the kids, but the dog. And it's just because he's so dirty outside and he loves sitting in that chair. And so he has totally made that chair dirty. So now I have like his cushion on it. And so I was like, I just Have kind of figured that my life is a lived in life. Yeah. Which Nikki's gonna see when she comes and stays in the barn in a week. It'll be a week from today.

SPEAKER_02 22:10

Yeah. Yeah. I that does the kid thing does make sense because I in general, I all that I have to think about is what makes sense for me, right? And even actually, even when picture came up, you know, obviously when I had the townhouse, I would have Melody's girls come over periodically. And one of the things that we like to do is um bake cakes or bake cupcakes, and I'll go to Michael's and get like the real cake dye stuff or real food coloring dye. So, and then I'll buy like six, six uh frosting tins and whatever, and then we'll just make really bright and we'll just make decorate them and just chaos, chaos, chaos. But when I do it, I go to there's also an ace hardware up the street, and I get plastic drop cloth and I put it all over everything and I move the furniture and the plastic drop cloth stays down there. Um, and so that, and then even too, when they get up, I'm like, let's go. Um, so it's you know, kind of a happy medium where we still get to do fun stuff with Auntie Nini, but Auntie Nini's stuff stays undyed and unblemished.

SPEAKER_03 23:24

Yeah. And even it's surprising with college kids and older kids, in some ways it's worse because they bring over their college friends and the um teenagers. And they just like when I walk into the movie room, I'm like, what happened in here? And these are not kids who are drinking, they are not kids, they're good kids, but there is so much popcorn squished underfoot under every beanbag and every movie chair that I'm like, how did they do this? Like, what magic did they do? Well, I'll tell you five years ago when we moved in, it's been five or six years we moved into the current house we're in. I did want to make this house beautiful. And I was like, I am gonna do all these gorgeous things to it. So I bought an extremely expensive sofa, which is still in my living room. It's a gorgeous caramel-colored leather sofa. And I actually wanted two of them because I really like the the look of two sofas next to each other. So I have a white one, also stupid. Um, and then I have this caramel-colored leather one. And actually, the kids aren't the ones who have messed up the leather couch. It is Thunder, our dog. He loves sitting on it, it is his favorite place to sit. So he is smushed down one side of the cushions where he sits and looks out the window every day, waiting for everybody to come home. It's totally smushed down. I cannot fix it. Like, I try to plump it up. It, I mean, it is there. He brings in with him all his doggy being all outside, scratching in the ground. He brings all the dirt onto it. And I think it was like that moment of like, I got this brand new house. I was putting really beautiful, expensive things in it. And I was like, that's a bad choice, Karina. Like this, these things that you love, you almost feel like heartbroken when they get all messed up. So, and I I I would love to say it's a stage of life, but I don't think it is. I think this is just my life. So, Natalie, I love this for you, and I will keep visiting your house.

SPEAKER_00 25:25

But no, I get it. Like, my cats have scratched up one of the couches. So eventually, you know, I want to get rid of it, but like probably not gonna get rid of it's the couch behind Nikki right now. Like, I'm probably not gonna get rid of that until they pass. Like, cause it's just whatever, right? There's plenty around here that's not like what I would want, but it is like a I want less things, but I want them to be what I want. If that makes sense.

SPEAKER_03 25:48

I think that's the right way to think about things. That's what I would love in my life. I definitely still want less things. Um, but I I think I've taken away the they have to be like what I you guys have to understand also, like, I'm a designer who learned like you should be buying designer things, like the designer interior design things. And I think I've fully given up the idea that I'm going to get the premier beautiful things. Yeah. Not because I couldn't afford it, but because it does not make sense for my life. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:22

This is a little bit off topic, but it's reminded me a little bit of a conversation again. I have been having recently. Like, there can feel like a lot of pressure. Like, this is the trend. This is what you should want. This is like how so you we see the Instagram feed with all these curated images, and it's like we have to get quiet and be like, but what is true to us? But what do we actually want? You know, like I don't want this whole thing that doesn't fit my life. And it's a little bit, Nikki and I were talking about how like it feels like as women, it is a trend to be like, oh, big boobs are in, now little boobs are in, now skinny girls are in, oh, curvy girls were in. And it's almost like like, how are we a trend? Our body types a trend. It's like versus like guys, it's never like, okay, big calves are in, go get your injections, big biceps, oh no, now we like the tiny biceps. It's just like there's so much I feel like we have to be careful of, especially as women, in terms of how you keep your home, how you look. It's like, what about like just how our bodies are? And the people who love us and want us, it's because of us, like naturally. Our home, it's okay if it doesn't look like whatever the interior design magazine says is in. It's our paint, like the paint of the year. I'm sorry, are people painting their houses new colors every year? Like, what is going on, Natalie? Me, I am painting every room in my house. Yeah, it's insane.

SPEAKER_03 27:45

But it is totally real, and I will say that I kind of feel a heightened sense of it. I don't think I'm I uh act on it, but I feel a heightened sense of it because I am a designer, and so we do a huge trend report at the beginning of the year with our designers. Um, we go through what we see in terms of, you know, because Benjamin Moore has a color, Pantone has a color, Etsy has their their things. We run through them all, and then we almost always end it. If you're one of my designers, you know this. We always end it with, and as you all know, trends are just trends. And so we want you to be aware of them, but this should not detract from your personal brand. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 28:28

So and I find if if I stay away, you know, I can see like social media would be so hard if it was there when I was younger. But the more time I spend on like the beautiful feeds and the beautiful models, and it really gets me to doubt myself. But when I'm not looking at that stuff so much, I'm like, I love what I have, I love how I look, I love all this stuff. So just like a constant kind of battle, not really a battle, but just being conscious of what is actually important to me and what do I want to think. Um, and not just like what's being fed to me that I'm supposed to want. That's the menu. That's the menu that you know we were talking about in the previous episode, like the menu of like what's on the feed, and that's what you're supposed to want and ask for. It's like, no, but I kind of built this thing and I like that.

SPEAKER_03 29:15

This is an interesting conversation because Nikki, you have not said a lot because you probably are in an interesting place. I'm curious about like what your mindset has been around this, and then also what do you want coming up, especially when it comes to a house and all of those types of things?

SPEAKER_02 29:31

Um, the next time Natalie goes out for pickleball, I'm gonna have uh a locksmith come over and just change the locks. And then when she's like, I can't get inside, then I'm gonna call the police and be like, I don't know who this woman is. She's she's she's been harassing me. Um, and I've been secretly changing all of her mail, like the electricity now is under my name and uh the gas is under my name. So um do you want Natalie's life? Well, no, the funny thing is is actually the the other morning it's been hot here in in the middle of the day, but it like it's first of all totally fine because we're working in the middle of the day. Um, but it's just extra gorgeous in the morning and in the evening. And I was I walked outside yesterday morning, I don't know, just to just be outside and get a little bit of sun. And standing by the pool, I was like, oh my God, Natalie in a lot of ways is living my dream life or has a lot of like I can't wait until I have a home of my own that I love and that has space for having people to come stay, but also has a really like nice, serene place for me. It's it's quiet here. It's a very like we never hear neighbors. Um, she's got a pool, like having a pool is the height of luxury for me. I get mad when I look at Zillow, like a big house in Zillow and they don't have pools. Like, if you have a lot of money, where do you get off not having a pool? Um, but like, what is wrong with you? Um, but really, I was standing outside and I was like, Oh, I have to remember to tell Natalie that she's in a lot of ways like leading my dream life, right? She has this wonderful house that she loves and a beautiful pool, and she gets to make all the decisions and it's quiet and it's peaceful. And I I I don't know where that house is gonna be yet, but I because it's across the street. We've been listening, Karina, and you didn't buy me a house yet, which is selfish. Self shame on you.

SPEAKER_03 31:30

You guys wait. I have to just intercede. I have been getting Zillow listings from Nikki like for the last three weeks of like houses in Natalie's neighborhood. Like, will you buy this one, Karina? Will you buy this one? And she have you yet, no one really had me though on one of them. I was like, wait, this one's actually like yeah, reasonable and maybe we should buy it. I was like, wait, I don't need a house in Phoenix. I have two houses in Utah. This is so stupid. Once again, your manipulation techniques are incredible.

SPEAKER_02 32:00

Man, if you were, if you if just my target audience were just you, I would be. I mean, I've got money. I would have so much money.

SPEAKER_00 32:09

Um, but anyway, uh I do think it would be fantastic if you lived close by. Like to be able to walk to your home or scooter to your home, have wine, happy hour.

SPEAKER_03 32:22

I'm gonna make a deal right here on this podcast for everyone to hear. And that is if Nikki buys a home in Phoenix, I will buy another house in Phoenix.

unknown 32:30

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_02 32:31

Wow.

SPEAKER_03 32:31

So that's the deal. Like if Nick buys something in Phoenix, I will buy something, and that will be our snowbird home.

SPEAKER_02 32:37

I mean, you know what would work so well though is if we just you just buy one for me. Right? Do you see how that does it both? It's both. And then, like you see it, but that just makes a lot of sense right there.

SPEAKER_00 32:54

Yeah, like you just buy the house for Nikki to live in. You're not ready to snowbird yet. So then, you know, when you're ready to snowbird, Nikki's already got like her other house in the Hamptons. So, I mean, what are we waiting for? There's some good deals around here right now. It's yes, they're actually missed out.

SPEAKER_02 33:10

There are, but we missed out on that 480,000 three-bedroom, two-bath with a pool. We missed out on that. That was supposed to show you that was amazing, yeah. That we have to take action. You have to take action when something like that comes up. So, I mean, you you have lost out on that house. How does that feel to you, knowing that you lost out on that house? There are other ones that you could be purchasing for me right now. Do you want me to send you some listings? I could send you some listings.

SPEAKER_03 33:40

You guys, this is like an everyday situation, just so you know.

SPEAKER_01 33:46

I don't know why, but I've decided that Karina is just gonna make things happen for me or do the do the things that I want. I don't do this. Do I do I do this to you, Natalie? I really don't think I do.

SPEAKER_00 33:55

Not at all. For whatever reason. I'm really, really trying to invent Karina for me.

SPEAKER_01 34:06

She just has still she still has just a little bit of willpower I have to work down. And then I'll get her to do everything I want.

SPEAKER_00 34:13

Maybe you should make sure she's had some cupcakes first and then try these techniques.

SPEAKER_01 34:18

I'm just gonna deliver them and have them like check your front porch. Oh my gosh, it's a peachy cupcakes.

SPEAKER_02 34:25

Doesn't the chocolate one look good? You should just have it right now. And while you're having that, let's open Zillow together.

SPEAKER_00 34:32

While you're having that, there's a contract in your email I need you to sign.

SPEAKER_01 34:38

What's your what's your uh your mortgage broker's name again?

SPEAKER_00 34:44

We need your social security number to update our podcast paperwork.

SPEAKER_03 34:50

Done. Wow, I must think gulb is not in the dictionary.

SPEAKER_02 34:56

No, you know, here's the thing is I'm just I'm a master of marketing techniques. You clearly.

SPEAKER_03 35:02

Clearly. Okay, back to you're living your perfect life living in Natalie's house.

SPEAKER_02 35:08

Natalie's living my perfect life.

SPEAKER_03 35:10

Yeah. I'm really excited for now because it's a very single white female. And then I get to see you in a week, and you're gonna come stay in the barn for a couple of days, then you're gonna go stay at the Bear Lake house for a month, which I'm really excited for you to do. And part of the reason I'm excited about this is because you have been bouncing around and just exploring what it would feel like to live in a lot of places. I think that's kind of a cool thing to do in your 40s. Like it's that's what you do in your 20s, I feel like, and you're doing it now again. And I do think we changed dramatically from our 20s to our 40s.

SPEAKER_02 35:45

Yeah. I mean, I had no idea what I was doing. Really, I think we've said this before. Like, I have no, I don't, I don't genuinely, I don't know what I was thinking, what I was doing, what I was like, until probably 40, where I went, well, now wait a minute. What do I want out of life?

SPEAKER_01 35:58

What do I want out of a partner?

SPEAKER_02 35:59

What do I want like I I again I don't know very open to where I will end up? I do kind of like the idea of having a couple of different places, um but uh very open to it and where I am guided, very open to being guided. Um I don't know, I don't know. It's it's I'm working on this was also revealed to me. Uh just trusting, trust it, trust the path. I'm being taken care of. I'm absolutely being taken care of. So just trust the path and I don't have to control it. I don't have to control when I choose the place. I don't have to control what place I choose. I don't, you know, I don't have to control any of that. I can just go with with the flow. Yeah, I love that.

SPEAKER_03 36:49

I also love Natalie's house for you as well. It really is. Natalie's house is very tranquil. Like, I mean, there it's it's you have a really great space there, Natalie. And um, when you sent over to us like your morning gratitude, which I think you should talk a little bit about if you're willing to, Nikki, like your morning gratitude that you yeah, yeah. Sorry, yeah, absolutely. Um, because when you sent over the pictures of like the three of us, like in your morning gratitude, like those pictures, I was like, Yep, that's everything right there. Like I love it.

SPEAKER_02 37:25

Well, we had uh, or Natalie had some some girls over and uh her friend Lindsay, who you know, maybe is a would I acquaintance of mine and you know, perhaps on the road to friend, uh one never knows. Um but her friend Lindsay, who is very cool and very successful in her business, was telling us this whole story about um so she has a uh a business that's a couple of different businesses, but one is like um the patches that deliver different kinds of stuff. Anyway, she was talking about how she wanted to get into Sprouts, which I is a uh a grocery store down here. Is that a accurate like a kind of a healthy grocery store group? It's a healthy grocery store. Yeah, I don't think they have them in the Northeast. Um but like told us a whole story about how like all these amazing synchronicities that happened like on the same flight as the people. And she was she was not supposed to see this guy who was not this guy, but a guy who was the man who uh was in charge of all the buyers, like she missed him, but that she didn't miss him, and then she ended up being on the flight with them again, like just all kinds of wild synchronicities. And uh what she talked about is that she does every morning I just get into this really, really joyful state. I reflect on something that brought me joy in my life, and then I think about that joy and again into that joyful state, and then in that joyful state, I think about other stuff that I wanna that I want to call in and then that I want to happen. I was like, I could I could do that. There's no reason that I couldn't do that. And even if it quote unquote doesn't make stuff happen, it's still just a really good idea to get into a good mood in the morning and feel happy. Like and it's not that I had never heard that before, but I think hearing her, hearing how well it has worked for her, and then also because I think it was one of the first mornings I was like, I don't know if I feel like I'm like, dude, what do you mean you're like 10 minutes? You can't spend 10 minutes thinking about the things that you want and getting into a joyful state. I'm like, come on. Uh so you know, I did a little gentle, a little gentle slap to my face, um metaphorical slap to my face. And so I've been doing it since I don't know, maybe Sunday I started or Monday. Um and it's been very nice. And one of the things that I have been sorry, long story. One of the things that I have been imagining, at least for the past couple of mornings, is a trip that the three of us are on in a hotel that I've been wanting to go to, the Sirnos, and um, and I imagine the the first morning I imagined that uh I came down to breakfast and you guys were down there and we were sitting there, we're just talking about how lucky we were to be there, and like we're so excited about the day we were going to, and we're we also were so um so happy that our businesses can run so well without us being there and that we could be so successful, but we could still take time off. And then we were also looking forward to it because all of our partners were coming the next day, and then um the the one I did this morning, we were at the same hotel, it was like almost the next day, or it was the next day. So it was the day we like we were really excited because our partners were coming, and I was excited because I'd gotten a message from my agent that um that I got the advance for my fiction book. And um then also the my partner had surprised me because he was he won he got there early. And so um he like he met us at breakfast, like surprise, I met you at like your guys were still coming in like a little bit later, but he had, I don't know, was gotten there early or like rearranged his schedule or something. And so he met us at breakfast, and then I got to tell him about the advance, and then he was like, Oh my gosh, we have to do, you know, let's let's do champagne or mimosas, and we kind of laughed because we had had mimosas yesterday morning, and um, but anyway, so that was that was uh my my joy meditation of joy, and it's been kind of fun to just think of different scenarios that would also bring me joy. So that's what I've been doing. Yeah, I love that. And when it's also gonna be super fun is when that actually happens, and then we could be like, God, this is this is what I thought about however long it'll last year or whatever, you know.

SPEAKER_03 41:34

The the crazy thing is you sent over some pictures like of us overlooking the ocean or sea, like from clearly it looked like Positano or Sorrento or something from that hotel that we're gonna stay at. Yeah, and I just literally I thought, of course we're gonna do that. Like in my head, it wasn't like a oh, this would be fun to do. It was like, of course we're gonna do that.

SPEAKER_00 41:58

Yeah. I also love that your joy meditation is also manifesting for us because we are there.

unknown 42:04

Yes. Yes.

SPEAKER_03 42:05

You're you're doing triple triple of the duty there. Maybe I do have to buy you a house.

SPEAKER_02 42:14

Tomorrow I'm gonna meditate on what it feels like when I move into the house that Karina buys for me. That's the universe being like, stop trying to control stuff, okay? Now wait a minute here. You're doing a good job, but you're pushing it a little too far. Um, no, but that but the thing is exactly Karina buy me a hot house. Um, universe, give me a hot house. Uh no, but I mean that's part of the thing is that that it would be I would be, I will be, am going on trips with you guys. And Natalie and I were were talking about like, oh, what what fun couples trips could we go on? And like it would absolutely, it is it's not even plausible. It's like very realistic that we would go on a trip and we would have a couple of days just for the three of us first, and you know, talk about business and brainstorm and also just have fun girl stuff, and then we would have the guys come in and then have some some couples trip fun with them. Um like that is that is reasonable, right? Like that is realistic. So I think that's part of what makes it so like this is so fun because this is realistic. This is not even possible. It's it's probable, you know what I mean? Yeah, I love it. So yeah, that's my uh 10, 11 minutes every morning. And why the hell not, right? Like I've got 10 minutes or 11 minutes, so I I know that is what I do every day. I love learning sign language, but that's you know 10 or 11 minutes every day.

SPEAKER_03 43:52

I like that was the most random thing. Everyone you're like, also I'm learning sign language.

SPEAKER_02 43:56

I was like, hmm, also 10 or 11 minutes. That I'm doing every day.

SPEAKER_03 44:01

Oh, I should have had Siri sign language to you last episode when she came in.

SPEAKER_02 44:06

Be in your house. She should be there for Easter, right?

SPEAKER_03 44:09

No, we kick off our kick out our oldest child over Passover.

SPEAKER_01 44:14

Oh, that's a that's a tradition. Is that an LDS tradition or is that a Christian tradition?

SPEAKER_03 44:18

I think that's a Moses tradition, isn't it? Isn't that what happens? The whole Passover is about the oldest son or the oldest lamb. That's real.

SPEAKER_02 44:28

It was the oldest son, yeah. The the Passover because it was wasn't the blood of the blood of the lamb on the oldest lamb, the newborn lamb. Yeah, but it was kids. It was actual kids, wasn't it?

SPEAKER_03 44:40

Um no, oh well it represents Passover. Yeah, for actual Passover, it represents the angel uh passing over the doors of the people who had put the blood of the lamb outside on their doorstep. On the door, yeah. So I didn't sorry, Siri, I didn't mean to make that joke about you. We're keeping you, my child. So anyway. I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 45:03

No, oldest son. Sorry, Charlie.

SPEAKER_03 45:05

Out all right, okay. Let's I don't know what else we have to say. So think we'll go. All right, bye.