Unfiltered-ish
Unfiltered-ish is the midlife group chat you wish you were in. Each week, Carina Gardner, Nicki Krawczyk, and Natali Edmonds talk honestly about friendship, ambition, marriage, dating, money, aging, success, reinvention, and the strange little things that make you wonder, “Wait, is everyone else thinking this too?” They’re business friends turned real-life besties, bringing humor, honesty, and just enough chaos to the conversations women usually save for private texts.
Unfiltered-ish
The One Where Our Strengths Start Working Against Us
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What if the thing you’re best at is also the thing quietly getting in your way?
In this episode of Unfiltered-ish, Natali, Carina, and Nicki talk about the personal “superpowers” that help them succeed—and the moments when those same strengths become a problem. What starts with guitar lessons, piano trauma, sign language, and learning new things in midlife turns into a deeper conversation about growth, ambition, ideas, execution, perfectionism, strong opinions, compassion, friendship, and self-awareness.
Nicki shares how her love of learning can turn into overconsuming courses and outsourcing answers. Carina talks about execution, projects, moving fast, and the challenge of not fully leveraging one thing before jumping to the next. Natali gets called out for her constant stream of ideas, her big heart, and the way caring deeply can sometimes become emotional pressure.
The conversation also gets into wit, bluntness, softness, manifestation, friendship dynamics, and how the right friends can lovingly reflect back the things you might not see in yourself.
If you’ve ever wondered whether your greatest strength is also the thing exhausting you, distracting you, or keeping you stuck, this episode is for you.
Unfiltered-ish is the midlife group chat for women talking honestly about friendship, ambition, marriage, dating, money, aging, reinvention, joy, and wanting more out of life.
Hi, I'm Natalie, and I have never played a musical instrument.
SPEAKER_00Well, I mean, that's not completely true because aren't you practicing learning right now?
SPEAKER_01Well, I'm trying to. I I don't know how to play a musical instrument. I've never known how to play a musical instrument, and that statement is still true.
SPEAKER_00Okay. Um, hi, I'm Nikki. Uh I, yeah, not b so when I was like 12, I took piano lessons and the lady in front of me, I still remember her name. I'm gonna call her out, Bonnie Grass. I mean, she's probably dead by now, but um, she's an old lady. Uh, I would hear her like making the little girl in the session in front of me cry. And then like she was a terrible, terrible teacher. And it just never occurred to me to be like, mom, I'm really not liking this lady. I also didn't practice very much. So that's me on musical instruments.
SPEAKER_02Uh hi, I'm Karina, and I play the piano and I played the violin growing up. I was in an orchestra, but I don't play anymore that. But I could play the piano.
SPEAKER_01So I love that. I brought this up because tonight I'm taking my very first guitar lesson. So exciting! I'm very excited.
SPEAKER_00Are you going to somebody's house or are they coming to your house?
SPEAKER_01What's the deal? I am going to a facility that specializes in music lessons. So just one, just to see what I'm doing wrong because it's not sounding right. I've been trying to learn on YouTube. The saddest part about learning how to play the guitar is look how short my nails are. I had to and I um my fingers hurt so bad because I had to file them down so um short that I cut, um, I cut this finger and I cut this finger. So like now they hurt, it's gonna hurt even more when I press down on the strings.
SPEAKER_02Like I shouldn't have, I should have just gone and got them done professionally, but you do you have to build up, you know, like almost a callus on your fingers. It's really, really tough. So at our house, you're required to play a musical instrument growing up in this family. And so Siri plays the harp, and it took her, it was like a solid year to build up the calluses on her fingers to play the harp. Um, Felicity is a celloist, and she was an excellent celloist in high school. She was like a first chair. Um, but now that she hasn't been having to play, she's grown her nails so long. Like they're so beautiful and long, but I always want to cut them and be like, go play your cello. And um, Charlie has been playing the piano for a couple of years, but he just switched over to violin. So it's like a whole thing at our house. But I love that you're playing the guitar.
SPEAKER_01I'm excited. I'll let you guys know how the how the lesson goes. But uh yeah, um, we'll see how it happens. Maybe I'll play you guys a song one day.
SPEAKER_00I love that you're learning every rose has its thorn. Cause when I briefly, briefly decided to take um guitar lessons as an adult, it was it was this, I think that was like the first thing because it's what is it like G and A and the progressions are, but it is, it's like every rose has its Yeah, exactly between two chords.
SPEAKER_01Why did you stop doing guitar lessons or playing the guitar?
SPEAKER_00Um my guitar teacher moved to England and uh simultaneously I was in love with my boss at the same time, and he and I started going to the gym together, and that's gonna derail you anytime. So, you know, going to the gym with the boss that I was in love with versus finding another guitar teacher just didn't happen.
SPEAKER_01I did get a tip today, though, that uh so I'm going to this professional place to get a lesson, but somebody I played pickleball with this morning said she took guitar lessons from somebody who doesn't live too far from me and it was really reasonable. So she'll give me that contact information if I want to continue. But I don't want to be like a professional guitar player playing a band or anything like that. I just want to learn how to play a couple of songs. So yeah.
SPEAKER_02I love that. I you know what I love about this group? First of all, I love that you're taking lessons, Natalie. But I don't know if we've talked about this before, but Nikki has been learning sign language, not very useful on a podcast. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Podcast listeners, let me demonstrate.
SPEAKER_02But I've been loving that too. Like the willingness, like there's something so nice about being in a group who's like, oh, we're in our 40s, but hey, we're gonna learn new things. And I've really loved it because my my daughter has been learning sign language as well. And so whenever Nikki comes on, Marco Polo with my favorite is bacon. Uh, I'm like, this is a good thing. Which I learned from Siri, as you'll recall. Siri taught me bacon. Oh, Siri taught you bacon. Yeah, and on Easter. Such good memories. That's so funny. Anyway, I I have to say, I don't think I've learned anything new recently. Like that where I went, oh, I'm gonna get lessons for this or I'm gonna do something with this. Uh but you're learning pickleball. Oh I mean, I've been trying to learn that for like two years.
SPEAKER_00So well, I think the quality time with Charlie will help. Like if that's if that's your mom Charlie quality time activity, I think that will, which actually reminds me of the sign for City. Listeners know that I'm signing City. Is that a cool one?
SPEAKER_02That is cool. I love it. Well, so today we're going to talk about something that Nikki brought up. And I I think Nikki has to explain it.
SPEAKER_00Yes. Um, so I was uh, it was what a couple of nights ago, and I woke up at 3:30 and just my mind was going, like thinking about my life, thinking about all my friends, thinking about, and I had this um not epiphany, but it was like, oh, this is something that is I think it was for me, and then it was for it, but I was like, oh, this is something that I tend toward. And when I do it in the right amount, it's a superpower. And then when I go over a certain line, it is what's the opposite of a superpower? Like kryptonite for Superman, right? Like, what's the must be termed? A Hilly's heel. Yeah, like I guess something like that. But um, I was like, oh, this is my this is a superpower or a superpower or or like a positive until too much and it becomes a strong, strong negative. Um, and then I was like, oh, and this is what Karina's is and this is what Natalie's is. And so then the next day I was like, hey, I have an idea for the podcast. What if we all share what we think the other ones are? But not in a, not in a again, but in in the right amount, it's like it's it is truly a superpower. But in just a little bit too much, it's like, oh, that's kind of holding. And I I think you guys, I will be interested if you guys have thoughts. Cause I think as I'm even describing this, I'm sure there are tons more.
SPEAKER_02I feel like the three of us, no, the three of us, like, I have a feeling it's gonna be the same thing. I think if Nikki says it, we're gonna be like, yep, that's it.
SPEAKER_01I feel like we would probably agree, but like I'm struggling to even think in my mind right now, like, what would I say for us?
SPEAKER_02Oh, I just wrote, I just remembered what Natalie's was, and I just remembered what Nikki's was for each of you. Oh, good. I know what mine is. Like, and I think it's because, well, especially in my my creative entrepreneur mastermind group, like this is something we talk about often. Like, you are so good at this that you rely on it so much that at some point it does become a weakness. And that happens to designers all the time. Like, because you you can get in a groove and you're like, you become so good at this one thing that suddenly it has now detracted you from growing and being a more prolific designer in some way, and so I think this thing is something everybody fights against. Like, you get so good, your superpower gets so good that it then actually detracts. Yes, yes, or yes.
SPEAKER_00Um, would you like to hear what it should be?
SPEAKER_02We need to do them one at a time because I have a feeling they're gonna be the same. If I if my head has anyway, yes, Nikki, let's start.
SPEAKER_00Okay, do you want to start with? Should we start with me? I feel like that's fair since I brought up the topic. Sure. What do you think your superpower is? So I think that maybe maybe not superpower, but like I think that well, like learning and like courses. You guys know that I am a sucker for a course. I want to learn as much as I can, and I then I want to take action and put it into my business and uh courses so very quickly become a my Achilles heel because then I end up spending a bunch of money on courses, and then I end up spending a bunch of time on courses, and then I feel like I need to implement all that stuff, and then it distracts me from like the daily stuff that I need to do, and it it makes me feel like, oh, if I can just this course, this is gonna be the course that solves the next thing, right? Like I have this optimism that somebody knows something that I don't know, and it's gonna be that's gonna be the thing that unlocks it and solves things. Um, so so is the superpower.
SPEAKER_02So the superpower is growth. Like you believe in growth and learning and becoming like your best self, but where the weakness lies is then you submit or end up buying probably more than you can take on.
SPEAKER_00And like overconsumption in general, the amount of podcasts that I listen to, and it's I I just I think the the solution, which is good, like it's important to, but I think the solution is is out there. And if I can just find it, then yeah, I think that's yeah, it's like you it's great to learn from others.
SPEAKER_01That is a superpower, like to be willing to learn, but almost the opposite side is that we don't learn from ourselves and realize the answers we have inside of ourselves. We're constantly outsourcing answers.
SPEAKER_00I'm such a sucker for a sales page for a course. Like, in fact, I have gone to now I will take a sales page, I will put it in Claude, and I will say, Do I really need to purchase this? And I'll put it into like one of the projects that has all my my business info. And it'll be like, Well, okay, first of all, why do you think you need to buy this? I'll be like, Oh, okay. But yes, I completely agree. I'm sorry, cut you off.
SPEAKER_02I thought for sure we would have the same one, but that was not the one I thought of for you. And that's so interesting. It is similar though, but I think it's a different uh take. So I don't think we do yours yet for me, unless you guys want to. You want me to do Nikki's or what? Like what? Oh, no, no. I thought we'd do everybody, Nikki's once for all of us, and then we're gonna think I thought you meant I we would do one person all the way around. Okay, it seems like a lot to just to do Nikki all at once. Like, here, Nikki, here's all the things, girl.
SPEAKER_00I'm all about growth, you know. Um, okay, so my next one, Karina Natalie. Do you do me do me? Okay, Karina, you're next. Um, you uh for I perceive your superpowerslash Achilles heel as being projects. You are willing to take on so much, and it's amazing how much you are capable of doing. And then I think that it tips into this point of like, holy sweet. Are we an explicit politic? We are. Sorry. Uh holy shit. Um, how on earth are you possibly gonna get all of this done? And are you saying this because I might have mentioned that I said I was gonna do a book with an editor? And not just any book, but like a book that actually requires work in addition to the book. Like you have to do work in order to then write the book.
SPEAKER_02I know it's not like just a writing book, it's a project-based book. And I I really think it's the right move, but also Karina, you idiot. Like, what the heck?
SPEAKER_00Right. It's like it's not that it's the same thing with courses, right? Like, it's not like it's a bad thing to learn. It's not like it's obviously it's not a bad thing to take in more projects, but you take on projects to the degree that's like, how on earth are you gonna do this without losing your mind? And you manage to do it, but like, wow, I think project is feel personally.
SPEAKER_02I I I agree with you. That's not the one I thought of for myself, but that is for sure a huge one for me. I I do love a good project. Yes, I do. Like you like a good course, I like a good project. Yes, yes. I also my brain does good in project-based things. Like right now, I'm in the middle of a whole bunch of stuff and it just feels like loose-ended because it's not a project. It's like, I've got to do this for the university, and I've got to go do this for this thing, and I've got, and I don't like it. Whereas, I mean, this comes from being a designer, especially in the craft and the fabric industry. I'm like, now I'm sitting design, you know, down to design this fabric collection. It's a project. I know exactly the ins and outs of it. It feels like there's a beginning and an end, and I really like that. But yes, I take on way too much.
SPEAKER_00It's it scares me sometimes. For me and for you. Just to watch it, it scares me. Okay, Natalie. Yours, your simultaneous uh idea, uh, your simultaneous uh superpower slash um slash Achilles heel uh is I started to give it away, is ideas. You have the most like amazing ideas and like the the stuff that you come up with, and you're like, oh, you could do this and you could do this, and you like amazing. And as someone who benefits from those ideas, I oh I also wrote down ideas.
SPEAKER_02I was like, oh, Natalie, the idea maker. Like, you're the most amazing idea maker. Like, I'm like, oh, Natalie have a good idea for that. Natalie have a good idea, and then it's like at some point you're kind of like, wait, like we can't execute all of these ideas.
SPEAKER_01Like, this is not going to work. Right. It's so frustrating because like the ideas are nonstop, but it's like, well, how do you? I just need to're so good.
SPEAKER_00All of your ideas are so good. Exactly. And it's like some some of the ideas is like then you share ideas with us and you give us ideas, and and then you have ideas for your business, you have ideas for additional business, you have, and they're that's the thing, too, is that ideas are your superpower. It's not like just quantity of ideas is your superpower, it's quality of ideas. You have like amazing ideas, which makes it extra hard that it's your Achilles heel that you also have quantity, quality and quantity, because then it's like it's it's hard to not execute on those. Yeah. And to like not.
SPEAKER_02I actually really agree with that because I know people who have lots of ideas, but the quality is not good. Whereas Natalie will come up with an idea, but the idea is grounded in something. So because it's grounded in something, it usually feels like, oh my gosh, like this would work so nice for this. And there's like a business essence or acumen around the idea. And so I'm like, man, could you just have only one idea a year like that, please? And then we could actually implement it. But like when she has it, it's like, oh, that would be so good. I can't even think about the execution on that. Like, that seems so much.
SPEAKER_00And you have like five amazing ideas, at least a day, like at least that you that you share with us. Like it's it's that's gotta be incredibly difficult.
SPEAKER_01Frustrating. Yeah. I could document them down, but it's like, uh, I've already got this going and I'm barely hanging, I'm barely surviving above water with what I'm doing, what I've already committed to. So all the other stuff just lives in a document. But yeah, something there. I agree. I do think ideas is a superpower for me. Uh, implementation, not so much because there's no time. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Well, on that, I'm gonna say what I think my my superpowerslash brokenness comes from. And it's the very brokenness. You're right. Well, kind of. Because it it does rift off the project thing, but it's exactly what Natalie Natalie comes up with the ideas. I think I have an execution problem. So I am so good at executing. And the moment we have an idea, we execute it. But I also think it, I think it really keeps me in my business, not working on my business because I'm so in it executing so often.
SPEAKER_01Okay, can I say what I thought your superpower encryptonite is then?
SPEAKER_00Uh-huh.
SPEAKER_01The same lines. Do we do that? Or yeah, go for it. Mix it up. Karina, like you move fast, you move quickly, like you're really great at um completing a project. But it almost like the backside is is like you're so quick then to move on to the next project. Like, I don't feel like you really ride the coattails or milk everything that can be milked out of the projects that you do. So, like for instance, um, when you wrote your book, like I think there was like so much that could be done there, but it was like, I wrote it, it's done, it's out, great. Now the next thing. And I'm like, oh, we have so much still to do with this, or like your cool, cute little YouTube series with like people coming over and kick cooking in the kitchen and da-da-da. And it just feels like we're doing it and we're moving on. But I'm like, okay, are we really leveraging like what we can milk out of all this stuff? Does that make sense?
SPEAKER_02I agree with you a hundred percent. And I think a lot of it has to do with my own scattered brain, like, I'm working on this and this and this and this. And I'm like, oh, I just gotta start the next thing, which is absolutely it's awesome that I execute so well, but it's also, I agree, almost everything I do, I don't get everything out of it that I can and should.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_02Interesting. Very interesting. That's an interesting take on it as well.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Okay, okay, do me, do me, do me. Okay, this is what I have for you, Nikki. I think your superpower is you are so good at actually planning out whatever the project or the thing is. You plan it out almost so perfectly that I think it gets held a little too long before it should actually be launched. And I don't think it's perfectionism, but I think you want to make sure every single detail is correct. You've got the right consultants in place, you've got the right this in place. Whereas I'm the opposite end of that. I think I like execute faster than I probably should. Like we don't have every single thing in place, so we'll just go for it. You wait until it's actually perfectly in place and then you execute. And so I think you wait a little too long, whereas I don't wait long enough.
SPEAKER_00I yeah, I think that's that feels reasonable.
SPEAKER_01Did you share what you thought yours was, Nikki?
SPEAKER_00Uh growth, learning, and learning and growth and courses.
SPEAKER_01Uh I think we all have something different for Nikki.
SPEAKER_00Oh, that's interesting. So Nally's like, I think you're a big bitch. You're a good bitch.
SPEAKER_01And I'm gonna reveal it here on this podcast. Oh, I think that like it's hard, right? And I was trying to think, like, well, what is it? I think one of your superpowers is that you are so passionate. Sometimes, like, what's the word? Like feverishly passionate on certain topics, like you believe what you believe so strongly, and you have such good rationale for why you believe it. But because it is so strong, that belief sometimes stops you from being open to something that might maybe uh goes against the belief or isn't entirely with that belief. Does that make sense what I'm trying to say? So, like, for instance, um, if we were to use like copywriting, for example, it's like so feverishly, you like you believe we need copywriters because it sucks. The like the AI is not great. And because and because that's true and you have good logic for it, it holds you to something the rest of the world is maybe not feeling. And they're like, I'm okay with the B minus of AI. And so, and just different things like that. Does that make sense? It does, it really does.
SPEAKER_02I was gonna use the example of K-pop demon hunters on this one. If you want to go back and listen to that episode, because I like Natalie. I mean, Nikki was determined that this guy was a big fat red flag. And I'm not saying she's not wrong, but I could tell she wasn't open to the idea that maybe he's a little bit of a yellow flag. Yeah, yeah. And so I think that's a really interesting point because you're you're saying it for copywriting, but I was like, I saw it in personal relationships.
SPEAKER_01Just in general, I think maybe like a little bit of gray area, maybe is like so we're so black or white and passionate in what we believe for very good reasons that it prevents us maybe from seeing a middle ground.
SPEAKER_00Oh, that is good. That's very insightful. That's very interesting.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00That's interesting.
SPEAKER_01I have another example, but we'll take that one offline.
SPEAKER_02Well, that was exciting. Um, I was just thinking, I can't think of another one for Natalie. Oh, except for if I were thinking about her superpowers, like one of your superpowers, I don't know if it has a bad thing to it. Maybe it does. You'd have to we can just do fun superpowers for each other. I was gonna say, you have really a great superpower with just going with the flow.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_02I just like even today when you're like, oh, I had to, I ran to do this pickleball thing first thing in the morning, and then that really like messed up my whole rest of my day. I haven't showered, dah, dah, dah. But I was just like, but also, uh, you live alone and you can do whatever the heck you want. So like live it up, kind of. And I was like, I I don't feel like I have that same exact thing because first thing in the morning, although today is Charlie's last day of school, which is awesome. I'm like, too many. People are gonna see me for me to be in my pajamas driving Charlie to school. Like, I'm like, I have to get ready, like first thing in the morning, and then get out the door and then head into work because my day has to be structured. I mean, it doesn't have to be. I guess everybody can see me in my pajamas in the carpool lane, but that's not really who I am.
SPEAKER_01So okay, so this leads me to a superpower for you, Karina and Nikki. You both have this similar superpower, and I am the complete opposite. You two both put yourself together very well every single day. Like 99% of the time when you come on Marco Polo to share whatever, your your hair is nice, your makeup is done, you're dressed appropriately. Not the same happening over here. Like the majority of time that I come on, it's like noon, 1 p.m. And I just got to work. So I'm still in my pajamas. I haven't done my hair, I haven't done my makeup. So you two both have superpowers of looking beautiful and presentable and put together on a daily basis. Like the idea of getting up and getting ready first thing is like, no, I have work to do. Like it doesn't make sense to me to get ready right away. Like I want to knock some work out of the way, which means I look like a homeless person for the, you know, till maybe 2 p.m.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, and I don't know if it's maybe a core the back from working from corporate is I feel like I can't really get down. Like I can do a little bit of work in the first thing in the morning, like the five to six hour, but then I want to get in the shower because I feel like I can work better once I'm showered and once I have makeup on and once I have like then it's okay, down to work time.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I think mine comes from necessity, not because I feel like I need to have myself put together. The necessity is, of course, the kids and the family situation. But the secondary piece is I do so much content. I feel like I'm in meetings with people, I'm doing podcasts with people, I'm making social media content, that it's just easier if I'm already put together to like walk into my day and do what needs to be done.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. I definitely see value in that. I need to maybe do more of that. I think another superpower, which Karina and I will agree with for Nikki, which is no surprise to anybody, including all of our million listeners, is Nikki's wittiness. So, like, we'll make a comment or even something serious, a topic, and her ability to super quickly make a comment that just relieves the pressure or makes us laugh or just is super insightful and funny. Like that is a gift not very many people have.
SPEAKER_02That is literally the word I was thinking too. It feels like a gift because I don't, I don't, I would love to be funny. Yeah, I have no idea how to be funny. Whereas Nikki will say something and suddenly I'm laughing so hard. And I just am like, wait, who who says that? Who does that? Who thinks like that?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, absolutely. I would try to be funny and like people look at me weird and I'll have to say, that was a joke, literally a joke. Like you don't understand. Like, what is wrong with my delivery? I don't get it.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I think it's a it's a true like gift or talent. I actually think when we were back in the mastermind days, I think that's why people wanted to be friends with you, Nikki. Not because you just owned like a multi-million dollar company, which was pretty freaking cool, but also because you seemed like the girl to get to know. Like because you were funny and you would just crack a joke. And okay, remember when this is going back, Megan and I spent an extra two days at the Gaylord Marriott in Florida. Nikki got stuck there. You're you have a yeah, I was gonna say you have a history of not being able to get on a plane. And she walks right back in. Megan and I are sitting um at like the pool or something, and she walks back in. We're like, what? And after that, the joke never ended that she was stuck at the Gaylord hotel still at the Gaylord in Orlando, Florida. And it was so funny. And she talk about someone who can milk something. She milked that for all it's worth. Kind of like I just listened to our podcast episode from this week and how Nikki always milks the Karina's gonna buy me a house thing. Like that, I mean, you're just so good at coming back to things and it's so funny.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. I will say too, another reason maybe people wanted to get to know you in the mastermind or are attracted to you is like you have this magnetic quality of being very uh this air of like sophistication and class, but trendy. Um like the way you walk, the way you hold yourself, the way you walk into a restaurant, the way you order a drink, like everything is very kind of classy and an air of power, it seems like. Does that make sense? Like you have it like when you just walk. And so, like sometimes I look at you and I'm like, okay, how do I how do I bring that into my life somehow or embody that? So I think that's another superpower.
SPEAKER_02I do, I do think that like there's something to be said. You're tall, Nikki. I think that that helps you. You're blonde, Nikki. It's hard to miss you because you're bright, brightly. And then I do think your clothing choices as well.
SPEAKER_01Which is when I don't like the reason men are so intimidated to walk up to you sometimes. It's like it's like, whoa, who's that?
SPEAKER_00I do, I actually think there is there is something to that, yeah, for sure. I would probably also have to encounter men out in the world. So that is, I think this is my my pool of available men is it's pretty small, but well, thank you guys. That's very sweet.
SPEAKER_02I mean, I would like to also say that Natalie, you have some pretty incredible superpowers. Like one of the ones that Nick and I have been talking about behind your back, because that's what we do as friends, is why does like your manifestation and you say something and the universe brings it to you? You know, I'm it just and you fully deserve all of them, of course. You do like it blows my mind though. You just decide this is the thing that's gonna happen, and then that thing happens to you, and it's all not little stuff. I feel like it's big stuff, really big stuff. That's an incredible superpower.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I want to come back to um one of your superpowers, Karina, or one that whole manifestation thing. So, whatever, let's stick on superpowers, but let's come back to that about maybe like a realization I have about manifestation that's like helping me unlock a little bit.
SPEAKER_00I would love to hear that.
SPEAKER_02I would too actually I also have a couple of feelings about manifestation that I I'd like to talk about with you guys.
SPEAKER_01Okay, should we make that the next episode?
SPEAKER_00Because I think we haven't done a cliffhanger in a while.
SPEAKER_01Manifestation, but wait, Karina's superpower. I really, really feel like this is her biggest superpower ever. Um, just in terms of like probably the most powerful one for business and life, is that when Karina is able to ask questions and probe deeply about hard situations in people's lives in a way that is genuinely caring and doesn't put us on the defense. So, like for instance, if I'm like really struggling with something and it's been going on for a while, or something she has this way of saying, Natalie, do you think that maybe this could be da-da-da? You know what I mean? I don't know how to put it into words, but she she is able to call out things that most people I think would feel uncomfortable calling out, but you because it comes from a place of such caring, it's well received.
SPEAKER_00And she does it gently, and she does it, oh my god, yes. Like it's I completely agree. You're so right. And then just the way you said it too, is is do you think maybe like it's it's and it is, it's always so insightful, and it's always like, oh yeah, that is that is the thing I I needed to hear. And yeah, and it's said with so so much love and so gently. Yeah, good call.
SPEAKER_01Like every time she says something like that, it's like, oh my god, I was thinking that in my mind, but I was so scared to bring it up because I didn't want to offend the other person or I didn't know how to say it in a way that would be well received. And like she did it, and I'm like, oh yeah, that's beautiful. That's a really great way to say that.
SPEAKER_02Oh, you guys were nice. I'm gonna chalk that one up to parenting.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Well, I mean, there are a lot of parents that aren't capable of doing that. So I'm sure that you honed that skill in parenting, but it's not something that is that is inherent to all parents.
SPEAKER_02Okay, then I'm gonna say that is parenting to my husband. Sorry, Jeff. Yeah, well, I was thinking, um, I think I can be a very hard personality, like in some ways, because I'm I think, especially growing up with, I hate to say this, my Chinese mom, it there's a bluntness in the Asian culture that you are just used to. You know, my mom would just tell our, you know, my siblings, myself, straight up, if we didn't look good, you know, like she would just say, you need to dress up, you don't look good. Like, you know, I mean, she'd just say it. Um, and so I think if you spent your life being offended by that, like you'd be having a rough life, right? Um, so it didn't ever offend me. I think it offended sometimes my siblings who were softer than me. But I think because I grew up with that, I tend to be a little blunter. But having, in particular, my oldest child be autistic made me realize I just have to be softer because she takes everything I say very literally. And so if I don't soften it, she won't hear what I'm trying trying to say to her. And she's a soft and kind individual, like way kinder than I have ever been in my life, and definitely kinder than her two other siblings. So, like she just has a softness to her. Like, I've just been worried about the world beating her down, basically. And so um, I feel like I try really hard. I I I guess I'm what I'm saying is I did not come this way. I tend to be a little blunter, and I I my gut instinct is to be blunt with people, to be like, just change this. Like, you're gonna be so much better off. Just change this versus Karina. Like, how would you handle that? You know, like if someone just told you that, would that hurt? Maybe you need to soften that up a little bit.
SPEAKER_01I know you're saying it because you're oldest um with autism, but I think that's a really great strategy for a lot of people. I think a lot of people can't hear the truth when it is delivered so harshly, almost like an insult. It's it's off-putting, but with a little bit of softness, it can land and somebody will be more open to hearing it. And I don't know why that's so hard for some people to just soften up.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. But in general, all of us take everything better when something comes from total love, right? You know, like if you if so, Josh being in a relationship, it means that there are some blunt things said, but that's just the way it is. And Josh will say things to me, and I remember early in our marriage, he I have a very he used to say it over and over again. And finally, I was like, I think he's right. I need to get that together. And that is, I'll say it to you guys, and you probably agree with him. I have a patience issue. So I don't, I'm not super patient. And Josh, we we're on two opposite ends of the spectrum of conscientiousness. Like, I want to get everything done immediately. He wants to do everything one year from now. Okay. So, like, to be in that spectrum, he he's just like, Karina, you have to learn patience. And I don't think he said in particular because of him, but he sure made me learn patience because he's right, not everything has to be done immediately. I just have to be more patient. So um when you hear that enough, and Josh is actually really good at saying things softly, like he he will say it very softly to me, and eventually I will learn the lesson. I don't know if I've learned the patience one yet, but I'm better. We'll say I'm better. I learned better now.
SPEAKER_00Um, I think a superpower for Natalie that we have that is like always in the room is you have the biggest heart. You are the most caring. I think you are the most caring person I know. You have so much love to give, and you want like everyone to feel good and to feel like and to feel good, and you're so like welcoming and you're so like you carry, like you have this entire community of of thousands of people, and you want each and every single one of them to to to have the best lives that they can and to be taken care of. And you know, the way you talk about your caregivers is like when you think about goals for goals for for your business as a whole, it's never just your business. It's like I want to, I want caregivers to be taken care of. How can like all of your big goals are include like a movement, you know, about like okay, how can we change things so that caregivers are better? Like you have so much love and you take on, not take on, but you you want it sounds so simplistic, but like you want the best for everyone. And I think everyone's like, I want the best for everyone, but you genuinely in your heart want the best for everyone, and you want everyone to live the best that they can.
SPEAKER_02Don't you think though? I was just thinking this this superpower does have the dark side to it because I was thinking when we talked uh back in the day about friendships, and she does give so much to friendships as well. Why her circles have to be a little smaller because she gives so much. And the dark side is it can take away from herself, right? It it makes it so she doesn't think of herself, and so then she's worn down, she's like, you know, it's taken a toll emotionally because she has so worried about everybody else's feelings.
SPEAKER_01100%. That is a big, big kryptonite for me. And like I feel it right now today. So I have a friend whose pet is in the emergency bed, and I went yesterday, brought her some food, hung out, blah, blah, blah. She called me this morning, and basically I think it looks like she's gonna put her cat down. And I just felt so much pressure that here I am. I had these recordings, I had a console, I'm not able to like go over there right now with her. You know what I mean? And it's like here she is crying on the phone with me, and I'm like, I am a horrible friend, I cannot be there. I'm like, I am free at two o'clock. Like, I will, you know, but it's like, well, they're just derailed my whole day. You know what I mean? Um, or like when somebody like I have to, it's hard because like people are going to hurt no matter what, but I have to be okay with people hurting. And I think that is hard.
SPEAKER_02Let's let's just like rewind though, 24 hours because you told us all the other things with this person, and you've already taken them dinner, you've already gone, like you've already done lots of stuff. So this would be like the third or fourth thing.
SPEAKER_01So like she's had like ongoing hardships too. It's not like for the same thing either. She's like in a hard, hard situation. So it's like I just want to be there for her. Um, so and then I feel like, yeah, anyway, it's just hard. So yeah, I agree. Like I it's pressure. Relationships are pressure. You want to be there, you want to help them, you want to give to them. So that's why they gotta stay small, small group.
SPEAKER_00Well, I think even like all of this, all of this stuff, right? Is well, maybe not the the saying things effectively and saying things kindly, but I was gonna say, like, with uh thank you again for for calling me witty, but there are definitely times when I have to be like, Nick, shut up. People are not here to hear you. Just because you think of something funny to say in your head doesn't mean that you should say it. Shut up. This is not all about you.
SPEAKER_01I don't know. I really like that you say things.
SPEAKER_02I was just gonna say, I actually think I don't know anyone more than you, Nikki, that self-analyzes what you do say. I actually like there we'll have a conversation and then you'll like almost pause it to say something about what you just said and then go back. I it's interesting that you're in copywriting, you're a writer, like that. That like is like because also your verbal is very important. Um, but I find it very fascinating because you will stop yourself and explain something about what you just said because you don't want anyone to take it the wrong way. And you don't want anyone to make assession assumptions or judgments that would make them feel bad. You always, I think you do it out of love of the other person. I don't think you do it because you're but it's just fascinating though. But like, because I don't self-examine the way you do. And it's it's an interesting, I don't know if it's a superpower, but it's an interesting quality.
SPEAKER_01In a way, it comes across as very thoughtful. So like you did it here in this episode, but you do, I'm just surprised at how often you do it with us because we know you love us. We are very close friends. But the amount of times you interject to make sure we know this is coming, if I may, it, you know, not that you have, you know, like these kinds of things that to make sure we know that like it's just a suggestion, you're doing it from a loving place. I'm like, girl, like we are so close. You can say, you could just blunt out, say it, but you don't. But even in this episode, when you're just talking really quickly about the manifestation, you're like, not that you don't deserve it, not that you didn't bring it, but you know, you're always working in to make sure it doesn't come across in any negative light, which is great. Like you're very conscientious about the words that you use, but you're also very careful that it's never misconstrued in a negative way. And I feel like at the level of friendships that we have, it's like, yeah, we we know you don't you don't have to let us know that you don't mean to be rude or anything.
SPEAKER_02Like but also it's cute. Like I think it's so cute when she like kind of will interject for herself and say like this one thing. Um, also, I'm just gonna say this. I don't know anyone who uses bigger words than Nikki. Like she'll sometimes say a word and I'll have it going on Marco Pull, and Josh will have just walked into the room and he'll be like, Did she just say da-da-da-da-da? I'm like, Yes, will you tell me what that means? And he'll tell me. And and I'll be like, it just the two of you could talk, Josh and Nikki, because both of you use words I do not understand.
SPEAKER_00I chuck it up to reading a lot of really big long books as a little kid. There I was talking to um my team member Kate, and she and I were talking about there, there are some words that like we have picked up from reading books that we know through context clues, but we're not really a hundred percent sure what it means. And we're also not entirely sure how to pronounce it because it's not something that anybody ever says in in like standard life. So I have like dozens of those words that kind of halfway there.
SPEAKER_02I love that.
SPEAKER_00Okay, so we should move on to the the next episode, to the manifestation episode. Very good. I would like to manifest the manifestation episode.
SPEAKER_02All right.